In an attempt to sort of grow up (maybe), my style and sense of smell is evolving. I seem to be going through outfits a mile a minute these days… so check out my eBay page, because my once-loved garments usually end up there.
Anyway, I read on Buzzfeed (i.e. Millennials ‘R’ Us) that I should have a signature scent, so I’ve been experimenting like crazy with perfume. I’m moving away from sweet smells to more floral, earthy ones. I also like everything on my body to smell fucking fab, so when I found this ‘conditioning hair perfume’, I naturally went for it.
Hello eBay, my old friend.
It’s a conditioner. But it’s also perfume. Which basically means it is just strongly-scented conditioner. Or at least that’s what the shop assistant told me, albeit in more sales-y terms. They also gave me a free sample tub, so I could try it before heading to eBay to get it for cheaper. I do actually buy stuff from Lush, I promise, but I’ve never been averse to a bit of money saving.
Upon opening the wee tub – which was actually a face mask pot, so I can trade it in for more freebies, heh heh heh – the first thing I noticed was that this product is weirdly runny. You know how conditioner is supposed to be gloopy and hold its shape? This is very, very viscous. Feels a bit watered down or something, which is bad news for my crappy thin hair – the thicker the conditioner, the better. That might be the almond milk in the formula – as any vegan knows, it’s the wateriest of all the non-dairy milks.
As promised, the smell is also pretty strong. I think the reason I like it is because its main component is – you guessed it – neroli. I swear orange blossom is a GIFT FROM THE GODS. There’s also some rose water in there, just to make sure you smell like a wonderful Mediterranean garden in the spring. I think it smells wonderful, but someone pointed out it’s quite an old-fashioned scent. Now I can’t stop thinking of grandma perfume.
Quite a significant dollop.
Here’s where the trouble started. I poured a fairly large amount into my hand – much more than I’d use for normal conditioner. It’s quite liquidy, so I just had to sort of flip the stuff onto my head and smear it around. It doesn’t stick to the hair that well, and it’s quite difficult to comb through, so I kept putting more and more on to relieve the pain. In the end, I used so much I could actually see the level of conditioner decrease inside the bottle. Woah.
That said, it smelled amazing, so I didn’t mind too much. The warm, wet hair and steamy bathroom helped to disperse the scent throughout the entire room. So, once it was all combed through, I let it sit for a while. You’re supposed to do this with conditioner anyway, but this stuff smells so nice I left it on until I was really bored.
I washed it off and could still detect the aroma, so I thought that was a good sign. But as my hair dried, it faded. When my hair was ready to style, it was as if Happy Happy Joy Joy had never been applied in the first place. I also don’t think my hair felt that great after – it still felt a bit dry and straw-like. I much prefer Lush’s conditioner bars, which have left my hair strong and silky.
Happy Happy Joy Joy? More like Sad Sad Cry Cry.
Buy again? Nah
Recommend to a friend? No